The Diary of a Procrastinator – Writer’s Block
As I sit here, slumped over my laptop, half-chewed cheese sandwich in one hand and a ball of three-year-old Blu Tack in the other, I start wondering whatever happened to Katie Melua and would she ever revive back on the scene again with a hit like ‘Closest Thing to Crazy’ (which just so happened to have played on Smooth – my go-to radio station when I’m working).
Ah-ha! Maybe I can write about that! They say if in doubt, write about what you know. Although I don’t know what kind of lives ‘they’ lead, but if I was to write about what I know I’d be telling everyone that the crust of toast I had for breakfast this morning was stale and that I burnt a hole in my favourite dress with the iron yesterday (of which I’m still reeling from).
*30 minutes later*
It may be apt to suggest that my mind is in the wrong place. Distraction after distraction comes from both my inbox (i.e. the PLT discount code that just landed) or the wasp that won’t leave my tangerine peel, that I refuse to move, alone. It could well be my own fault, sat here staring at the dining room table stubbornly not going out to seek inspiration. Or it could just be that I’ve lost the ability to write. Either way, it’s a lost cause.
Speaking of lost causes I can’t find any appropriate summer footwear right now. No, honestly! Having searched high and low across all relevant online websites I’ve come to the conclusion that I will have to go bare-footed this summer. It could be a new trend that I will be the pioneer for. They’ll call it ‘Bare Boho’ (although ‘boho’ is a term I’ve never been associated with and probably never will). Either that or invest in some white, backless Gucci loafers (the only shoes I like right now). The Guccis make most sense but considering the amount of money I’ve spent on ‘designer’ salads and sweet potato fries at fancy restaurants recently, means that I ought to be looking more second-hand Ebay than £500 high-end. Maybe I should look into getting a credit card…
Needless to say another five minutes has been wasted mourning the loss of my beloved Gucci slip-ons that I’ve never had, as well as my depleting bank account from all these meals out (who knew a lemonade would set me back a fiver!).
Okay so maybe I’ll just pop on Insta for a bit. I definitely need a break of some sort. And it might even give me a burst of inspiration!
*47 minutes later*
Instagram was a tragic idea. It’s now close to the end of the day. Nothing is down on paper (virtual paper or otherwise) and I saw about ten other girls sporting my Gucci loafers looking like the cats that got the cream. In fact, I feel very down about myself. I think it’s about now that I should reach for the digestives (the ones without chocolate, which makes me feel superior).
*6 minutes later*
Slumped significantly further down the chair than a few hours ago, I sit bedecked in a necklace of cheese and digestive crumbs. It’s at this point that there’s nothing else to do but use that PLT discount that came through my inbox earlier.
I will have to try again tomorrow and resolve to enjoy some retail therapy.
*2 hours later*
Hurrah, I found myself some summer shoes!!!! I can definitely sleep tonight, diary. Goodnight.
What I’m Wearing