You know the drill. You practise the drill. Tweeting, Insta-ing, posting about your ‘dreamy’ day shopping or being a lady who lunches. But what are the realities behind them…? Yep, it’s all exposed here with a social media to real life translation.
Important Key to Know Before Reading:
OSM = On Social Media
IRL = In Real Life
OSM: Lovely tweet about what a relaxing Sunday it has been! Lots of cute emojis (snoozey-face, coffee cup and bed included).
IRL: You’re groggily waking up from a two hour nap that you cried yourself into after questioning your worth, life goals and relationship status.
OSM: You sat in a café wearing a crisp white shirt holding a Bloody Mary. Cheers everyone!
IRL: Scoffing down healthy eggs, realising they’re not satisfying enough and ordering an extra pastry (which you manage to spill all down said white blouse, along with a few Bloody Mary stains). After over-indulgent food consumption, you have to undo the button on your trousers feeling pounds heavier in weight but pounds lighter in cash. Gosh, brunch is expensive these days!
Picnic in the Park
OSM: A sprawling Waitrose-bought picnic complete with cheese from Brie to Blue Wensleydale. Propped up neatly against a Fortnum & Mason hamper.
IRL: Prosecco bottle tipped all over the grass. Too windy to put food in your mouth without also eating half your hair. No picnic benches free and grass is too wet to sit on.
Slogan Tee & Pouty Face Selfie
OSM: Candid, not too try-hard pic of you being fun for the camera.
IRL: 323 selfies, 1 aching arm, 5 mini breaks, 4 opinions from friends and you’ve finally taken your selfie. Now all you need to do is edit it…
Saturday Night Rooftop Bar
OSM: Decadent cocktail in hand (complete with a flower-imprinted ice-cube and fresh berries), wearing 90s vibes slip dress and mules.
IRL: Shoes rubbing from walking half a mile from where your Uber driver dropped you off. Holding the cocktail glass for too long has given you frost bite. It has started spitting.
OSM: Picture prancing around the gym in funky patterned leggings and expensive trainers.
IRL: You’ve done 10mins on the treadmill and decided to call it a day. Your legs hurt a bit from last time, you think you’ve got a cold coming on and you missed last night’s ep of Real Housewives.
Shot of Abstract Art
OSM: Your ‘all time fave’ image of haphazardly painted black lines. Something about it really just moves you.
IRL: You’ve spent 43 minutes Googling ‘trendy modern art’ because you saw Oracle Fox post something similar the other day.
OSM: Looking super cool and effortless leaning against a cute little vintage automobile.
IRL: Trying to very rapidly ‘get the shot’ before owner of car comes back. Delicately leaning against bodywork to avoid damage. Shouting at your photographer to HURRY UP.
What I’m Wearing
Skirt | Zara, here
Top | Zara, here
Trainers | Pull & Bear, similar linked below
Sunglasses | Céline, similar linked below
Earrings | old, similar linked below