Who are you today? It’s a question millennials get posed on a daily basis. Below, read a fly-on-the-wall snippet of the millennial girl who decides she wants to be cultured for the day…
What to do today, she ponders. Feeling despair when realising that her latest trips have included either shopping or a drive to McDonald’s, she decides to embark on a intellectually-stimulating trip to the art gallery/museum/wherever cultured people go (plus it’s raining and what else are you meant to do on rainy days?).
*Takes conscious, intellectual decision not to document this experience on Instagram.*
Puts thought into museum/gallery outfit. Googles ‘art gallery chic’ – search results include ‘how to make your own DIY gallery wall’ and a painting of a flamingo, neither of which can be deduced into outfit inspo. Deletes search history. Concludes that ‘sensible footwear’ is the best sartorial option. People in museums don’t wear strappy-heeled sandals with PVC mini skirts.
Navigates way into museum? gallery?! Wherever! Armed with pamphlets; one being a map of each room, another being a detailed beginners guide to Early Cubism. Decides to consult ‘Pre–Raphaelite’ section first – must be in a gallery then! Yes, this seems the most interesting, and wasn’t Olivia Palermo pictured at an art gallery the other week? Defo the place for stylish people du jour.
*Views painting of a Medieval banquet*. Stomach growls –
– ‘Gosh, I wonder what they do for lunch in the café?’. She muses. ‘I hope they do quiche like that restaurant in the National Trust place! Just a few more paintings then I’ll go and find quiche.’
‘Excuse me madame, you look so interested in this painting. Let me go and find some pamphlets on the artist for you!’ The museum attendant interrupts. Damn, she’ll have to stay for at least another fifteen minutes.
Continues walk around museum floor. Bag bursts with leaflets. She wonders if there’s a recycle bin in the room.
Seven minutes of standing and shuffling between the crowd of Japanese tourists is quite tiring for a girl, she thinks as she decides to sit on a bench.
Takes in 20ft painting of an ancient mythical figure who is very indecently exposed. What fantastic brush work, what wonderful colours! ‘Okay, I’ll just do one quick pic for Insta. Nothing major. Really not doing this for my followers to think I’m cultured. Honestly!’
Then it happens. An epiphany. A realisation of why people come to museums. Amongst the sea of tourists, she sees something that catches her eye. Exquisite! Artistic! Just GENIUS! …A fellow museum-goer is sporting the new Gucci loafers. With a chic trench coat and skinny jeans (skinnies must be back then!). Now this is art.
People watching soon takes central preoccupation. Sees several looks she’s definitely going to recreate. Matte red lips scream intellect. Jots down looks in notepad, satisfied that she’s found both a new hobby, as well as the reason people visit museums.
Finds quiche lorraine in the café and leaves shortly after, feeling inspired.
Early Cubism can wait until next time!
What I’m Wearing
Jacket | Zara, here
Trousers | Zara, here
T-Shirt | old, similar linked below
Shoes | Primark, similar linked below
Bag | Gucci, similar linked below
Sunglasses | Céline, similar linked below