Nordic is the new black, reads the headline.
In case you weren’t aware, Scandi bloggers are a new internet sensation (although in Insta-time they’re actually a pretty old sensation now). And if you weren’t aware of that, it’s unlikely that you’ll even be on this page reading this post anyway. So in conclusion, here we are together, all in the same boat, struggling to stay afloat on the deep and bitter green sea of Scandi-Orientated jealousy #jel. In a bid to Keep up with the Claudias, here are some general rules about how to vaguely pretend you’re anywhere near on the level of these superhuman goddesses. Basically.
Caption your Instagram pictures with something enigmatic.
And always end with ellipsis. Examples would include:
- ‘Coffee on rainy afternoons…’
- ‘These days…’
- ‘I’m not your baby…’
Get on board with the Gucci loafer trend – but never buy a black pair.
So, these girls are literally so different. Like, they’d never buy basic black Gucci loafers. Always berry red or brown or something else unexpected but totally original and utterly magical.
Revel in a chance to unleash your inner scruff bag. Dye your hair white blonde and don’t wash it for two weeks. Scrunch it up into a tiny little bun and never wear eyeliner. Cavort around in wide leg trousers that don’t ever seem to catch on your bicycle pedals. Never actually ride said bicycle.
Always Carry a Coffee.
Just, ya know, super caj. Always.
Minimal Insta Bio.
Only your email address and possibly a destination stamp (#Copenhagen) should appear on your Insta bio. Clean, simple, Scandi.
Coquettishly giggling at a box of Crunch Nut Cornflakes has become the Scandi equivalent of Testino’s towel series : everyone who’s anyone is doing it it. What’s so amusing about Frosted Mini Wheats? Nothing. But does anyone need to know that? Absolutely not.
Don’t forget your effortless ‘I woke up like this pose’ with effortless ‘I woke up like this hair’ and maybe even wear effortless ‘I woke up like this’ pyjama bottoms, paired with oversized Acne Studios shearling biker jacket. You literally went to the supermarket as soon as you woke up and you literally looked that good and the cereal literally was that funny and cute!
What I’m Wearing
Jumper | H&M, unavailable online, similar linked below
Shoes | Zara, here
Pants | Mango, similar linked below
Earrings | M&S, similar linked below
Leather Jacket | Loavies, here