How Not To Resolve Things This New Year

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While many of you may be bouncing around ticking off your New Year’s to-do lists (haha), it’s also quite likely that the rest of us will be plunged into January despair, mourning the loss of both our Christmas decorations and former figures. So as usual, I’m back to you with another post declaring the ways in which we should do things in a reverse and contradictory fashion (aka goodbye cheesy motivational speeches, hello reality). It’s time to deconstruct the myth that setting New Year’s resolutions make us better people because let’s face it, if we’ve not become better people in the last 365 days then what’s the point in trying now? Enjoy!

THE DIET

At the start of the year we declare how healthily we’re going to be eating, how life-changing it’s going to be and how differently we’re going to feel by March this year (like, practically a female body-builder kinda different). Why not face up to reality and admit defeat already? We waste HOURS of miserable time obsessing about one chocolate we’re dying to have, a meal that only can exist in our dreams and how many days it is before we can treat ourselves to some carbs. Really though, what’s the point? We’re all going to still end up saying how disgusted with ourselves we feel by next December, it may just be easier to give up now. Can someone pass me that Thorntons Continental box?

THE DETOX

Besides the annual ‘I’m going to drink more water this year’ bore, there’s a lot of alcohol-centric talk that needs to be put to bed. We vowed on New Year’s morning that next New Year will be a prosecco-free hike in the Lake District, we promised that until summer there will be no more nights dancing until three in the morning… But Dry-January, Frugal-February and March-Whatever-It’s-Called realistically isn’t going to happen when you’re plunged into post-Christmas blues and are enticed into ‘just a couple of cocktails’ a few Saturdays after NYE…

So because we’re all about realistic expectations now, here’s some helpful, slightly deceiving (although I would personally call it conscious stress-alleviating tactics) tips to make you feel better if you did so happen to slip up:

  • Order the healthiest sounding drink on the menu – lychee martini with a splash of lime? That sounds like an metabolism-boosting, immunity-building drink if ever there was one!
  • Tell yourself that they’re only small glasses, basically three drinks is the equivalent of one in a normal sized glass…
  • Having drinks with friends means a healthy social life, and what could be more important to our wellbeing than spending time with loved ones? This is an essential part of your new balanced lifestyle.

Henry Watches

THE SPENDING HABITS

‘Yah, I’m not going to spend like ANY money this month. No clothes, no shoes, bags, accessories. Okay maybe just like ONE little accessory every couple of weeks to keep myself going. But other than that, like nothing.’ 

Sound familiar?

When reality kicks in and it’s back to work for us all, what other pleasure do we have in life other than to buy a few new clothes? How are we going to kill time in the evenings if we can’t obsessively stalk the ASOS website? What are we going to spend our weekends doing if it’s not visiting the shops?  How are we going to keep up with our favourite bloggers if we can’t purchase the latest sequinned embellished beret?! Oh, the despair!

How we feel when we’ve bought a new pair of shoes: 10/10. 

How we feel when our wardrobes are empty and you’ve worn the same pair of trainers two days in a row (*shock*): Empty. Void of life. Unfashionable *gasp*.

Do you see the difference? 

January would be a very dull month without the magic of online shopping.

THE JOB

There’s some sort of consensus that if we don’t all vow to leave our jobs to chase our dreams/try harder at our jobs to achieve our dreams then we’ve already failed at our year.

Wait, what? You don’t want to be an entrepreneur? You don’t want to climb the career ladder to become the CEO of Apple? There has GOT to be something wrong with you.

I say, throw in the towel and make it your goal to just survive the winter months unscathed. Sometimes a job is just a job. There’s nothing worse than waking up to the sickening sound of the alarm knowing you should be actually ACHIEVING something, striving to make the Forbes list of 30 Under 30  whilst also just trying to keep warm and go to the gym three times a week. The mere thought is shudder-inducing. What a DRAIN! We should take inspiration from our furry friends the badgers, and hibernate under dressing gowns, blankets and other accumulated soft items until the warmer weather sets in (hang on, do badgers even hibernate? You get the gist…).

Anyway, dream chasing should probably be held off until spring when your main purpose isn’t defrosting your car. (I’m sure, by the time spring comes, there will be other excuses, but we won’t think of those just yet…).

So ironically, the only resolution you need to think about carrying through this winter is eschewing all your other resolutions for a hassle-free, goal-less life. And what could be better than that?! *

*There’s always next year anyway.

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tweed jacket

This post is in sponsored collaboration with Henry London, featured watch linked below.

What I’m Wearing


Watch | Henry London, Heritage Square Watch here 

Blazer | Zara, here

Trousers | Mango, similar linked below

Shirt | Zara, similar linked below

Bag | Saint Laurent Sunset Bag, linked below

Sunglasses | Céline, similar linked below

Boots | Topshop, similar linked below

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