For this you will need:
- An expansive budget that allows you to buy into trendy motivational things/objects/people @ the same time as being simultaneously lazy b’coz you’re actually paying someone to motivate you without being motivated yourself…
Rise ‘n Shine
Each morning should begin with meditation. A calming, easy way to gather your thoughts before starting the day, meditation will prepare you for the hurricane (how relevant RN?!) of jobs you will inevitably be faced with in your overbearing but also super contemporary career.
How to do it:
Download ‘Mindfulness for the Naive’ for £6.99 p/min for relaxing music. To access additional services i.e. ‘meditational guidance for the ignorant’, simply unlock with an extra £57.59 p/hr that you use.
Once you’re in the right frame of mind after your ten minutes of sitting in bed with your eyes closed, otherwise known as a lie-in, you’ll be ready to face the onslaught!
Post-Meditation Invigorating Exercise Class
If you’re trying to economise then walk to your designer gym class instead of using vital petrol/transport costs. Paying per class instead of per month for a gym membership, despite costing you an extra twenty quid a month, actually tricks your mind into thinking it’s cheaper!!! In turn you’ll feel on top of the world for conserving money in such a thrifty way.
Always start your day with a super healthy, super expensive breakfast to get you in the right headspace. Unfortunately, a banana and some Aldi yoghurt won’t cut it. Instead, invest in the latest superfood: Himalayan monkey faeces. Crystallised and grated by Nepalese orphans, this delicacy should be sprinkled on your acai bowl before work each day. Branded as ‘the superfood of all superfoods’ by Ridiculous Female Diet magazine, this excrement will boost your immune system leaving you energised and fighting fit.
At the Desk
Luxury stationery is a sure fire way to brighten up a miserable day. A crocodile notebook will set you back £335 but it will be worth its weight in gold when you’re ticking off lots of v important tasks on your expanding to-do list. A pen is also mandatory for long-list making (long-list making also mandatory) but anything under £100 won’t give you the motivational kick that you require. The more expensive the notebook, the more motivated you will be!
A Positive Outlook
Finally, but most importantly, is the positive outlook you need to have on life. You can pay for a positive outlook by going to speeches, buying an online course or seeking a therapist. Alternatively, purchase an overpriced book from an overpriced acclaimed retailer that will provide you with a series of motivational and positive quotes that you could have found on Google.
What I’m Wearing
Blazer | Mango, linked below
Blouse | Loavies, here
Trousers | Mango, linked below
Trainers | H&M, here (bargain of the week!)
Bag | Gucci, similar linked below
Sunglasses | Céline, similar linked below