The bathroom on a night out isn’t just a toilet and a few mirrors: it’s a sanctuary of retreat, a temple of confession and a rehab for the temporarily destitute. Come to the bathroom and there you shall find safety and reprieve. Mastering the art of bathroom etiquette should be something that we take time to learn, in turn aiding a fellow bathroom goer and being prepared for all eventualities.
Encouragement, Strength and Guidance
It is true millennial girl’s etiquette to always show support for a fellow millennial, stranger or friend, in a long and empowered speech about her greatness in the bathroom. She may turn to you with a multitude of problems, be confessing her boy issues or quietly sobbing in the next cubicle, but you will tell her that she is the next Nelson Mandela. She has the ability to save lives like Florence Nightingale. And she can contour like a Kardashian.
She can, you must explain to her in your impassioned speech, do and be anything she wants. She’s SO much better than that guy who doesn’t text her back, she WON’T be single forever and she WILL become a successful multimillionaire with her idea of installing ring lights into Ubers for killer selfies. You must leave the bathroom feeling as smug as Shaggy and the gang having solved the mystery on Scooby Doo. Good job, Scooby!
While it is ill-advised to share makeup with others, you should set aside the rules in order to execute perfect bathroom etiquette.
Repeat after me:
You will always lend your friend a lipstick.
You will never let a friend go without an eyeliner.
Caring is sharing so you should also freely dish out plasters and chewing gum whilst sprucing up your hair and makeup.
Offering your Services
In a bid to gain favour from other bathroom goers (you never know when they’ll need to repay you with assistance), offer out your services for the benefit of others. Sort their hair out, readjust the ankle strap on their shoe… You get the gist. Become disposable (like an overworked, unpaid intern) and you should reap the rewards whenever you’re in a jam.
Don’t be that girl who lingers in front of the mirror adjusting stray strands of hair for an extra twenty-five minutes whilst all your other friends are waiting to dance to Daft Punk’s One More Time. Pouting and tweaking should only be allowed for approx. 3 minutes, but when one friend stops you should politely all stop. Like a waterfall. It is unfair to keep the rest waiting.
Become the Next Mario Testino
Yep, it is essential (if you want to uphold the manners of any polite millennial girl) to make sure you snap friends and/or strangers in the toilets. Make sure the lighting is right and maybe even squat down to get a good angle. They’ll love you forever and may even buy you a drink if you take an extra good one. If you see a struggling selfie then never edge away, always lend a hand to your bathroom-mates.
Having executed the perfect bathroom pitstop, you can go merrily to the bar knowing you’ve gone out of your way to fulfil the unspoken girl-code. Fail at this, and karma may come back to bite. You never know when you’ll need to reach out for a plaster or when you’ll need a stranger to wipe your tears away…
What I’m Wearing
Coat | ASOS, linked below
Dress | Zara, similar linked below
Boots | Mango, similar linked below
Bag | Gucci, similar linked below
Suitcase | TK Maxx, similar linked blow