Instagram Etiquette; unspoken rules of set behaviours to be conducted on a social media app. You’re thinking, ‘how stupid!’ as you turn your head at the flash of a small screen: you’ve gained a new follower. It’s time to admit that Instagram is a way of life for us millennials, which is why I’ve compiled a fully comprehensive score to help you overcome the doubts and deliberations of #instalife.
Over Liking and/or Commenting
An inundation of likes and/or comments from the same person can get a bit tiresome if you’re not a blogger. Okay, it’s always nice to push your likes from 30-something to 40, but really, the person you waitressed with five years ago couldn’t care less about your post work-out lunch. If you are THAT person, stop immediately. Don’t over-kill the likes. It’s not genuine and comes across as social-media desperate.
Do not post:
- A picture of you falling asleep at your desk.
- You doing the splits in a club.
- Your finished plate of pasta.
- A shot of your muddy wellies post-festival.
No one cares! At all. Not one tiny bit.
NOT A BIT!!!!!!!
Interaction with Someone you Fancy…
Sporadic likes are good, maybe even a comment (if your relationship has reached that level), but anything more crosses the line. As hard as it may be, avoid viewing every single one of his Stories. It might be difficult when Ben from accounts posts ten Stories on Saturday night out, but you don’t want to seem too social-media-keen…
When to be Mad at your Boyfriend over Instagram – The Ambivalent Borderline
Ah, the mysterious line that all those potential-cheaters drift along. Is he being unfaithful if he likes this picture? Is he SPEAKING to this girl?! How dare he! The sickening stomach flip is all too familiar…
An incongruous discussion in bygone days, but one that we are sadly facing in this millennial world. So here’s how to deal with it…
A) Phone a Friend. Who Wants to be a Millionaire may just be a redundant Saturday night TV show, but Chris Tarrant’s life lines will always come in handy when faced with such problem. You must first send a screenshot to your friend (vital), on which you can then begin to trace her social media footsteps.
B) Find out her relationship status, where she went on holiday two years ago in August, what bar she was at last Saturday night…
C) Permission to be annoyed. It’s time boys got over this ‘you’re stalking me’ card. BORING! Yes, we stayed up until four in the morning tracing this girl’s Twitter account back to 2010 (she’s defo had dodgy lip fillers since then btw). Yes, we have been drafting a passive aggressive text message with our friends for three days (something that says ‘angry but in control’). NO, that’s NOT steam rising from our ears!!!!! AND YES, WE’VE HAD A SHOWER THIS WEEK! We’re really not that bothered at all about this situation where you’ve been a thoughtless, egocentric idiot and I’ve had to deal with the heart-wrenching consequences all by myself for a whole week before confronting you. Honestly, I couldn’t care less. Honestly!
D) You clearly don’t trust this chap, so it’s time to say Bye Bye Baby.
When Not to Post Pics of Your Friends
It is a universally established, unwritten law that you should not post unattractive pictures of your friends. Even if you’re looking 10/10. You can, by all means, crop them off (they’ll understand), but it is bad manners to flood the internet with pictures of Kate after one too many vodka and sodas on a Friday night. Play fair, your moral compass will outweigh the sadness of not posting the pic of you looking like Miranda Kerr.
What I’m Wearing
Jumper | Zara, here
Skirt | Zara, here
Boots | Topshop, similar linked below
Sunglasses | Céline, similar linked below
Bag | Zara, here