Given that we are all probably pretending to be adults until we’re about thirty (at which time we’ve probably faked it enough till we’ve made it), we should reassess some key tips that will help us achieve this sought-after, grown-up status. Forget getting a steady, 9-5 job, say goodbye to mortgages, these are the real rules you’ll need to master the art of ‘adulting’.
Buy a House Plant!
The ultimate sign of being an adult is having a house plant. If you’re too tentative about this step, and feel this may be too much of a commitment, then test the waters with a fake plant. There’s plenty of convincing artificial foliage on the market, no one will even know whether it’s plastic or chlorophyll. You’ll thus be able to figure out where it will catch most attention in your home (consequently affirming your adult status to all who sees), and allowing you to more easily navigate yourself when you feel brave enough to enter the ‘real plant’ market.
Start a Pension
Nothing screams adult more than starting a pension (besides your house plant). No one needs to know whether you’re putting 50p or £50 in a month. Although, there is probably not much point in starting your pension at 22 if no one knows about it. So make sure you slip it in conversation every now and then.
‘Oh no I can’t afford another night out! That money is going in my pension. Oh yes, didn’t I tell you I started a pension?!’
Kind of like that.
Know a Builder
All real adults have builders, electricians, plumbers and dishwasher-menders (is that what you call them?) in their contacts list. You never know when your oven fan-belt might go, the boiler will decide to stop working or a pipe is going to burst. All houses need ‘work doing’ or ‘odd jobs’ sorting, ALL THE TIME, (‘it’s constant!’, ‘it’s never ending!’). Apparently.
Always be prepared. Try looking in the Yellow Pages for suitable numbers – yes, it still exists and you probably have one hiding in the cupboard under the stairs!!!
Moan about the Bins
If this isn’t crucial, I don’t know what is. Moaning about what day the bins need to go out, who is putting out the bins and why the bins haven’t been emptied for two weeks is all appropriately adult-ish.
Develop a Vehement Dislike for Social Media
Adulthood, as has been revealed in the past few years, is defined by two attitudes towards social media.
‘Wooo, let’s post on every social media platform! Everyday! Twice a day! I’ll tweet about my eternally sore back, I’ll Facebook rant about my annoying neighbours, I’ll post an Instagram of the wine I desperately need after yet another long, hard week! I’ll comment on everybody’s pictures, reply to everyone’s comments! This. Is. FABULOUS.’
‘Social media is the decline of society. Youth isn’t the same. Why are you posting a picture of your lunch?! Who CARES?!’
Go with the latter. You’ll probably find yourself in least trouble.
If, like me, you dozed off somewhere in between house-plants and bins, then perhaps you should remain at the peripheries of adulthood a bit longer. Perhaps you’re just not ready for such responsibility – you won’t be alone! Perhaps, then, it’s time to listen to Kygo and book that holiday to Ibiza…
This post is in sponsored collaboration with Henry London.
What I’m Wearing
Watch | Henry London, Highgate watch, here
Blazer | Zara, here
Trousers | Zara, here
Bag | Gucci, similar linked below
Shoes | Primark, similar linked below
T-Shirt | Primark, similar linked below
Sunglasses | Céline, similar linked below