Begins with frantic communication between friends at least four, perhaps five days prior, leaving room for online deliveries to arrive comfortably. Make sure you WhatsApp at least three pictures over to your group message, requesting honest opinions. That said, always go with your gut and ignore their response. Inevitably, you will be wearing an entirely new outfit on the night that you only purchased on a last minute shopping dash hours earlier, but this process is nonetheless mandatory.
As we all know, a night out is not complete without a bottle of prosecco or two to get the party started. However, why is it always that the pre-drinks only end up going in the fridge approx. 7 minutes before you need to drink it? It is absolutely vital, essential, imperative, that the prosecco has been chilling since at least noon that day, for it to reach optimum temperature before drinking. Do anything in your power to make sure this happens. Write post-it notes and stick them to your dog’s collar. Tell your family to text you with a reminder. Set an alarm!!! If the prosecco isn’t chilled the night is off to a bad start already.
Step 2 and a Half
Also prosecco related (duh?), Step 2 and a Half is all about the opening… of the bottle, of course. You need to make a great fuss of the cork-popping scenario. Ritualistic, treat this like the Holy Communion of nights out. The blessing for you all to enjoy the night. Gather your group round (your #girlgang, has of course arrived three hours early to get ready), make sure all Insta Stories are set, allow time for your friends to put their camera flash out – EVERYTHING looks better with flash on, is my Millennial Mantra – and finally, strike your best ‘popping the prosecco’ pose. (N.B. It is always wise to lightly shake the bottle before opening. Bubbles and fizz add to the overall effect and will look great on a Boomerang).
Lay a carpet of towels in your bathroom. Make sure all surface area is covered. Let me tell you, instant fake tan is a nightmare to scrub off tiled flooring, especially whilst in any delicate state you may be in the next day.
It is wise to get yourself ready before any of your friends arrive, for the below reasons:
A) Your hand and eye will be far steadier in a sober state.
B) You won’t get distracted by gossiping or dancing to Justin Bieber’s Despacito and then realise you only have fifteen minutes to complete a smokey eye.
C) Your friends will request help; be that in relation to hair, makeup or outfit. If you’ve completed your own look first, you can play the good samaritan and dish out your help to others.
Pre-taxi photos are an absolute must. You need at least x 127 shots to find at least two good ones (that’s maths if ever I saw it). Tell everyone the taxi is booked half an hour earlier than it is actually booked for. That way, you’ll round up the troops, and get to include a thirty minute photoshoot (this accounts for the time it takes for someone to have a meltdown about their outfit because it doesn’t photograph well, and enough time for them to change… and for them to then change back into their original outfit again…).
Buy a tannoy. The probability of you being able to account for all the girls, let alone assess if they have their ID, phones, card, cash and lipstick with them is probably zero. A tannoy would work wonders in your favour. Secondary to this, roll up a magazine and start shouting though it like a megaphone.
Now, I better put that bottle of prosecco in my fridge for Saturday…
What I’m Wearing
Shirt | Quiz Clothing, here
Culottes | Zara, similar linked below
Shoes | Primark, similar linked below
Earrings | Lily and Rose, Miss Kate Indian Sapphire, here