Millennial Girl Code – The Electronic Support Network
So, here it is, the unwritten girl code now spelled out… Kinda. Think of this as your dos and don’ts of millennial girl culture, only on the small screen. Below are the rules and regs to help support your local girl gang. Yes, this is a guide you should steadfastly be following.
THE ART OF CAREFUL SCREENSHOTTING
The binging back and forth of messages, screenshots flying, little black writing swirling around your head, a vague nausea at the sheer pace of WhatsApp life and blue backlight. Before you know it, you’ve sent the wrong screenshot to the wrong person and all hell breaks loose. You end up digging a huge hole for yourself that you’ll need mountain rescue to help you escape from, trying to explain to Charlotte why you’ve just sent a screenshot of you bitching about her with Jane:
‘Oh no really, it wasn’t YOU Charlotte! Hahahhhhh HA! How embarrassing! It was my other friend Charlotte. From work. Yeah, she’s also meant to be coming out with us on Saturday, but she’s being a bit of a pain about it. Didn’t I tell you? Oh well, here’s a screenshot of our convo… Oddly familiar to ours, yes, I didn’t even realise! Thought I’d just send it you to see what you thought! Yeah I know we were talking about your grandma’s funeral before that… But still, I thought it was revelant…’
*Sigh*. Simultaneously you’re still screenshotting the rest of your friends this disastrous conversation. The whole thing is a screenshot car crash. Ladies, always remember that screenshots could be the death of your social standing. Always think twice, check twice and be safe when sending your screenshot (not to mention that it breaks fundamental rules of girl code anyway…).
HOW TO TEXT YOUR BESTIE ON A DATE
If you’re completely bored on a first date then it’s probably best to get some shots in. Oh, no no sorry, I didn’t mean to say that… Slip of the keypad! What I meant is that it’s probably best to call in reinforcements in the form of your best gals. The ones that are always there for you in a crisis like this…
Alternatively, if you’re having the time of your life and he’s a lot fitter than you expected from his Tinder profile then it’s also important to inform the girls of that too! Either way you need to text. It’s always best to be prepared, having your phone in easy grabbing distance for when he goes to the bar. It’s bad manners of you to sit with your phone out on the table, but no one said anything about it sitting on your chair next to you. Nor did they complain about it being at the top of your bag for ‘easy-to-reach’ access. Pre-planning is required though, so make sure on arrival that your back is facing the bar, so as he doesn’t see you frantically texting thirty five different group messages as soon as he goes in for another elderflower G&T. P.S. Little side tip, if you’re on a horrendous date then make sure your friends just so happen to be out that night as well. Pre-warn him that you already might be meeting them, and be ready to quickly make your escape… (You didn’t hear this from me).
WHEN NOT TO POST PICS OF YOUR FRIENDS
As touched upon in ‘Mastering the Art of Instagram Etiquette’, it is a universally established, unwritten law that you should not post unattractive pictures of your friends. Even if you’re looking 10/10. You can, by all means, crop them off (they’ll understand), but it is bad manners to flood the internet with pictures of Kate after one too many vodka and sodas on a Friday night. Play fair, your moral compass will outweigh the sadness of not posting the pic of you looking like Miranda Kerr.
COMMENTING & LIKES
Despite having spent the last hour and a half consulting your friend over which picture she should post (‘Ooooh but your legs look good in that one, but the other shows off the dress more!’) you must always react with shock, surprise and delight at just how STUNNING she looks in her new Insta pic. Make sure you’re one of the first on the scene to like and comment, to get the ball rolling. You’ll be thankful when she returns the favour.
NOT ENOUGH LIKES ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Think of this like a marketing business between friends. You promote each other’s posts in the hopes that when your turn comes around, the girls will step up to the plate. If you’ve posted a photo and you’re struggling on the ‘likes’ front, a Call to Action Emergency Message to the group WhatsApp is mandatory. Reinforcement is needed and every good girl gang should know when their services are needed.
It is only polite for a girl to offer her photo-taking services to a fellow female. Between five to ten shots is a reasonable amount to offer, but don’t spend your night running around as photographer at the beck and call of somebody else’s Instagram…
What I’m Wearing
Blazer | Mango, sold out – similar linked below
Sweater Dress | Zara, here
Boots | Mango, similar linked below
Shirt | Zara, similar linked below
Bag | Saint Laurent, similar linked below